A Different Side of Me
by Chaos Zeh Panda
Summary: Ugh, what is happening? One moment I'm my usual self, all bubbly and eccentric, and then... I change. Angry, happy, sad, depressed... manic... for the love of god, I don't need help!
1. Chapter 1

"I never did see why Sakura-chan did not wish to be my devoted girlfriend, but all is fine now, I assure you Sensei." Lee spoke, his usual oddly euphoric voice tinged with sadness and what may have even been grief. "I have moved on, and she has moved on. Well, she never did stop..." He hung his head, but managed to keep a small, weak smile on his face.

Might Gai was sitting next to his prized student in the Ichikaru Ramen Bar, his right hand grasping a small sake bottle. He was listening intently, honestly wanting to know the reason Lee was acting so... so... different.

"Sensei... would still accept me as your student if..." Lee did not continue, only looked up and turned his head away, as if in embarassment. Now Gai was really curious, even a bit worried. Placing a hand on the eccentric ninja's shoulder, he wore an expression of doubt, maybe even some fear.

"Lee, you might as well just go all out and tell me."

"No, Sensei, I am fine and wish to leave now." Sliding off the stool, the spandex-clad teenager sighed and started walking down the road towards god knows where. In his head swirled various thoughts, some of them confusing, some embarassing. Some a bit dangerous. All of this confusion was getting to him. He found himself asking more questions lately, and not being satisfied as often. Was there something wrong with him?

He stopped in front of the Ninja Academy, not knowing exactly why. Memories flashed through his mind, memories of being the only kid that couldn't transform properly. Well, look at him now. He had turned out to be exceptional, and almost no one could rival him in battle other than Sasuke and that kid from the sand, Gaara. He was better than almost all of them, and he knew it now. Had finally realized it.

Oh god, here came the mood-swings again. One moment he was happy, the next depressed, the next angry. Suddenlt, he slipped into a brief state of mania. Mania, as in, he thought, no, believed that NO ONE could face him, that NO ONE could bring him down. Lee swelled out his chest, and an insane grin passed his lips. Then it was over. His breath was let out in an exhausted sigh, and his gaze fell to his feet again. What the hell was wrong with him?

"Fuck." he whispered to himself, kicking a small rock. He jerked his head up, and cursed himself again. Wait, he shouldn't curse at himself for cursing. Jesus, all this was so confusing! Why couldn't he still be the bubbly, optimistic, determined, and slightly out-of-it teen he used to be? He was happy then. Now he thought too much, realized it was all worthless, and it was really bringing him down.

No, it was't all worthless! He was the best there is, and if he tried again, he would have Gaara and Sasuke begging for mercy! Spontaniously, he jerked back, and growled at himself. Then it was over. He was back to normal. Back to the eccetntric Lee everyone knew.

"What was that all about?" he asked to no one in particular. He felt his forhead, and shrugged. He didn't have a fever. Maybe he should see a doctor? One thing was for sure, shrinks were off-limits for him. A shudder ran up his spine. He didn't know why. All psychiatrists scared him, ever since he was small. "I don't need help, damnit!" he screamed aloud, modifying his personality back to the disturbed, troubled Lee.


	2. Chapter 2

The confusion had returned tenfold. Here he had been sitting on a park bench, thinking, when Gaara walked by. The thoughts as to why he was in the Leaf Village never occurred to him. Probably because it didn't matter in his case. Never-the-less, Lee found himself staring. Why? Something about Gaara, something about him Lee just found... interesting. No, interesting would not be the words. Hmm. The troubled ninja shook his head, and forced himself to look the other way.

Gaara himself sat on the other end of the bench, not paying attention to Lee at all. Just sitting there, arms crossed, staring into space as he usually did. Gad damnit, what was it about him that made Lee want to look? Inspecting the Sand nin from the corner of his eye, he saw nothing different. Just the same old Gaara. No difference than the last time they had met, but still... his mind was racing and transforming again.

Gaara let out a sigh. It was not exactly one of grief, but not one of sheer annoyance either. It had a slighter different meaning to it then that. Fuck, now Lee felt like crying! Why? He hated himself now. All these emotions and no explanations.

He was busy thinking about all this when he heard Gaara's raspy whisper of a voice. "Lee... sorry about the whole breaking your arm and leg thing. I heard you had to have surgery and all. There was only a fifty percent chance you'd live." he said, not even looking in Lee's direction. His voice was emotionless and cold. Somehow, the fact that his voice was uncaring sliced into Lee deep, like a knife coated with ice. He never had cared about what Gaara thought of him before.

"I- I am still alive, eh?" he said while the old Lee was still in control. "The surgery was not all that bad. Also, I do not hold grudges. I have forgiven you long ago."

"Christ, you talk real formal, you know that?" Gaara's voice still had no zest, no care in it.

"I do not know what you mean, Gaara-san."

"Yeah, whatever."

Lee had a sudden, impulsive urge to impress Gaara. He wanted, nay, _had to_ impress him, had to get him out of that cold voice. If the old Lee was still completely in control, he would be jumping all about right now, doing push-ups, back flips, sit-ups, etc. But he was still tinged with the contamination in his brain.

A series of major mood swings left him feeling even more confused. WHY the **hell** didn't he care about him? Why the hell? well, **fuck** him! No, no... it was not his fault. He had been raised that way. He had been raised not to care, I can not blame him. God, he will never feel anything about me. He will never care. He will always be like this while I seek to impress him. Well fuck that, screw him! But I can't do that, I _have_ to impress him.

Wait, calm down. all of these emotions, if I really try, can be pushed aside. Now I am back to myself. Bu then again, I can not decipher this feeling I have. It feels like I am admiring him, but that is not quite it. It is not idolship, and it is not envy or jealousy. Ugh. No...

This time, when his mind flung out of control, it left him with a lusty grin and a hot sensation. He had never had this feeling before. The feeling grew ever stronger, and it was hard to resist the urge to.. to... no, he shouldn't think about it. When he did, the feeling grew more powerful.

"The fuck are you smiling about?" pondered Gaara, finally turning his head to look at Lee.

"Unh."

"What?"

"U- God, nothing! Nothing, I swear it!" Lee jumped up, and took off running. He ran in any random direction, just to get away from Gaara. He had embarrassed himself. Had Gaara known what he was feeling? Please, please no. He was still trying to sort this out himself, he didn't need anyone else flipping over these feelings.

He was going fast. Too fast, and slammed into something hard. Not something, some_one_. He fell to the ground, and looked up. Staring down at him was non other than his ever-admired and perfect Sensei, Might Gai.

"Sensei!" he yelled, and flew up, wrapping his arms hastily around the jounin's lower chest.

"Er, uh... Lee, are you-" he stopped when he felt moisture on his chest. Lee was crying about something. Gai had _known_ something was wrong. And he still didn't know what it was. Lee did not reply, and Gai lay his hand on the top of his student's head. Whatever it was, he had to know. "What is wrong with you lately? Your youth seems to had all been washed away. Is it Sakura?"

Lee whimpered and sobbed a few more times before speaking. He still did not dare look Gai in the face. "You will be so ashamed of me Sensei." he cried into his chest.

In his head, Gai was thinking that Lee was a little too old to be crying into his chest. Then again, he seemed to be going through something drastic. He didn't say any of this. "I promise Lee, I would forgive you for nearly any crime. Whatever you did, I have to know. Now tell me - is it Sakura again?"

"N-No... It-It is someone e-else."

"Can you tell me who?"

"No."

"Lee-"

"Sensei, I do not understand this!"

Now they were getting somewhere. Things could get even worse if Gai didn't know what was going on, and that crisis might be averted if he could just get Lee to talk. "Go ahead and tell what it is you don't understand. I can help you, or get you help."

"I DO NOT NEED HELP!" Lee screamed, and tensed up considerably. "I do not need help with my own feelings!"

Dear lord... feelings? Gai was hoping the best but expecting the worst. Was he being possessed or something? Since when did Lee refuse to tell him anything? Before he could talk again, Lee continued.

"Wh-why, Sensei... I understood Sakura, and why she did not wish to be with me. She had Sasuke, and she was happy that way. But I do not get this. With this person I choke up and can not speak at all! And I get these feelings, Sensei! Feelings I do not understand!"

Now Gai began to think he understood. Lee may be fifteen, but he was oh-so-innocent. No one ever messed around with him. Hell, he would even bet no one had ever kissed him before. Was he... had he been getting an-

"And no matter what I do, I just _know_ he will not feel the same!"

_HE?_

_(Wow, that was long. Anyway, this whole story is taking a left turn, but I don't think i'm going to turn onto the whole LeeGaa thing. Its probably just a mixture of emotions or something. Actually, the first review I get can request whether or not they actually pair because I don't know. Just, please, someone review. I can and will wait for a suggestion.)_


	3. Chapter 3

_(Before you get started, know that this chapter is rated M. I already said it was going to get intense, so don't blame me.)_

He was going to do it. Oh yes, he was going to do it. He was not Lee anymore. Lee was gone. caring, forgiving, innocent Lee was gone. This was a new shinobi. The person he was now took what he wanted and never looked back; never helped others or had anything kind to say. Yes, Lee was gone. He was someone else now, someone more fulfilling. This person made himself happy. He didn't need other people to help him. And for that reason, he was going to do it.

Lee was sitting patiently, just waiting. He was sitting in a closet, coats and shoes all around him, but he had a sadistic grin seeping of malice plastered to his face. His eyes were narrowed and seemed to flicker with energy. He felt like he needed to do something. And he knew what it was. Lee ceased breathing when he heard slow footsteps cross the hallway in front of the door. He could tell who's they were by how short the intervals between footsteps were and how softly or heavily they tred; Temari. Gaara's sister, the blonde whore. He would start with her... yes, he would start with her, and work his way up to Gaara himself... He had gone through a lot of trouble to position this moment and make it turn out right. Had gone through a lot to find out when she would be here alone. He was going to do it. Lee would have turned back, but he wasn't himself. Now, he had no name.

He heard a the bathroom door open. Exactly what he had been waiting for all day. Finally she had went in there. He waited still until he heard the shower turn on, then his grin widened and he stood up, stealthily opening and closing it, making practically no noise. He walked down the hallway a bit. The Sand siblings were only staying here for two or three months, and so had just rented out an apartment. It didn't take him long to reach the bathroom door. He pressed his ear to the wood, listened to the methodic thudding of water against porcelain.

He had to do this quietly as possible. Or it would be over. Temari couldn't even know who he was for this to work. Could never see his face or he would be exposed. The spandex-clad ninja slid into the room, the door locking behind him. _The dumb whore hadn't even locked it to begin with. _he thought, supressing a snicker. He removed his boots and leg warmers for better stealth, and gently placed them on the tile along with the wrappings he always wound around his hands and his headband. The tile was wet with condensation and he had to try hard not to squeak his feet or to slip. Before he continued, he got rid of the upper half of his spandex, followed by the lower half.

He was almost there. She had no idea. It felt so empowering, knowing that he had done all this correctly; that, in a sense, he had beaten her. He walked up to the shower curtain, his ear almost touching it. He closed his eyes, savoring this moment. He could hear her moving around in there. Deep, deep, deep inside him the real Lee squirmed around in tears, insistantly trying to stop this from happening. But he wasn't strong enough. This Lee was stronger. And he was in control.

There was a small gap between the shower curtain and the wall where Lee slid in. She still hadn't noticed him, which didn't surprise him. This was the sneakiest he had been in his entire life, and she seemed to be daydreaming, her eyes half closed and a smile on her face. Lee felt as if he was invincible right at that moment.

Temari never had any idea what was going to happen before she felt a rough hand cover her mouth, She screamed into it, but of course it was too muffled to be heard. Three seconds ago she was warm and happy; now terror coursed through her body. Lee had pulled her to his chest, on hand over her mouth, the other free to do as it wanted. Temari was struggling frantically, but of course she was nowhere near as strong as Lee. She felt his hand moving over her body, stroking her skin, and tears came to her eyes.

She never got a look at him.

Lee had won.

(Well... yeah. Lee's mood swings are starting to get dangerous.)


End file.
